When someone is feeling guilty after someone close has passed away, they are often asking, "Why didn't I go?" It's the survivor issue. You are still here and your brother is gone. That is sad and you are grieving. But think of this, if your brother could talk to you, would he want you to continue to not eat? He would say, "Bro, is miss you too, but get on with your life. Heaven is wonderful. Make sure you have your reservation made. Go out and do something, but don't eat too much at first. Eat a little meal, and then another meal in a few hours." He would also say, "Go do something we used to do together."

You appear to have slipped into a significant depression and grief reaction. You will need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychologist for a combination of psychotherapy and medication. You may also need the support of a day treatment or partial hospitalization program. Please get an appointment quickly, even if it means going to your local hospital ED. Suffering yourself won't bring your brother back.

It is indeed sad to hear of your significant loss and it sounds as though you are in a deep stage of grief secondary to the loss of your brother. Coca cola is definitely not nutritious, although milk has some redeeming qualities and probably lines your stomach for the protection of the medications you are taking, yet some individuals can have adverse reactions to drinking milk. Avoiding food for nearly 30 days is dangerous to your physical and mental health.

Thank you for writing in for advice and expressing your desire to "break the cycle". You are correct in thinking that you need to stop this behavior. I would suggest you call a good friend or family member and ask him or her to drive you to the emergency room of the nearest hospital. Since you have not had solid food in a month, your system will need to gradually introduce food again. At the hospital they can check you for dehydration, anemia, and a host of other potential problems. Your doctor's office may not be open at the time that you are receiving this advice, but hospitals never close. They will also review your list of medications and assess what is appropriate for you at this time.

The conditions you are dealing with are stressful, painful, and can easily depress any individual. Depression can be debilitating and takes time and professional help to process toward a state of healing. Have your advocate (good friend or family member) ask the hospital staff to bring in a psychiatrist ( to evaluate your medications) and a psychologist

(to help you process your deep pain and grief). Individual and group therapy can be very helpful and there may be a change in medications to assist with your medical conditions and your mental health.

All the best to you~please call for help immediately and accept the help from others that will be offered to you in your time of crisis.

Sincerely,

Dr. Thompson

First, I am very sorry for your loss of your brother and the debilitating emotional turmoil you have been experiencing since his passing. Depriving yourself of food is not going to resolve your intense feelings and could result in serious medical problems for you. The number of medications you are currently taking is also a concern. The medical issues you have listed combined with your emotional depression and guilt, suggests it is best to contact a psychiatrist immediately to assist you with a medical evaluation, medication adjustment, and a referral to work through your emotional difficulties with a good psychotherapist or clinical social worker. The manner you have chosen to deal with your loss is dangerous to your mental and physical health and it is important not to delay calling immediately for help. You have made a good decision to write in asking for help and I sincerely hope you will listen to the professionals that have given you some sound direction. I wish you the best in your search for more peace and a healthy resolution.

For your loss you have my condolences, your on a few prescriptions that can and do have side effects. Without knowing your medical history, I can tell you that your physical side is suffering without proper nietrition which isn't healthy. For the psychiatric side,, sudden extreme grief can and does cause depression, however it is a stage we go through.

Dinial, anger,, sorrow,,,acceptance. It's never easy and any support you can get from friends, is much needed. However you do need to find a wonderful psychiatrist that your comfortable with to help you through this,,, coping skills, medication.

If you and your brother where twins the grieving process can be deeper and different. Twins bond in the womb and connect with each other in special ways through their lives that non-twin siblings do not. Please, please find a psychiatrist you'll be comfortable with for yourself.

I am sorry for your lost. Dealing with death is never easy to deal with, but the grief that you are feeling is something you are going to have to deal with one way or another. I would suggest you seek counseling services to help you process your feelings of grief and loss. If you are choosing to only drink milk and drink soda and you know the end results of that makes you feel bad, try to incorporate shakes or liquid meal supplements (Ensure) to provide your body with necessary nutrients. Other than that, you have to eat something because if not, you will only continue to put yourself through physical pain and anguish. I notice that you are prescribed medication and you have to stay consistent with your medication regiment. It is great that you recognize that you have "cycle" or patterned behavior that you want to break and that is a good start for recognizing that a change of behavior has to take place. One suggestion that I always offer to my clients when dealing with any sense of loss is to create a scrapbook with pictures and memorable of the person that you lost. Find a book, notebook, or buy a blank scrapbook and place items that remind you of your brother. This process brings grief, sorrow, and happiness. You can work at it on your time and at your own pace and when you feel up to it. But please seek counseling from a counselor, or if you have any religious affiliations, seek services through them.

Sorry for your loss.

Depending on the daily amount of milk you are drinking you may or may not be in need of emergency medical care, hospitalization and stabilization. However, whether it is 1cup per day or a more adequate two pints of milk daily; at the very least a urine sample should be obtained to assess specific gravity for hydration status, pH level, ketone level, and signs of kidney damage.

In addition to consideration of major depression, this avoidant/restrictive food intake requires further exploration to determine if an associated symptom or sign of a co-occuring functional disorder (in that you allow yourself to have cola) or there if there is a physical etiology (given use of PPI and Opiate).

My advise is that you show up at a medical or psychiatric service and share this question either verbally or provide them a screen shot.

Be well!

Although grief is a normal process..from ur description..it appears that ur symptoms are bordering on abnormal grief which needs to be addressed medically..u need to seek a psychiatrist for evaluation and proper treatment

Feel better

You need to seek the help of a medical doctor as well as a psychologist ASAP. Grief is dealt with differently by all individuals, however the way you are dealing with it, may take your life if you don't do something about it. Please call and make an appointment when you read this to move on with your life or go to your nearest Emergency Room. They will steer you in the right place to begin healing from your loss. Your brother would not want you to handle things the way you are. He would want you to take care of yourself to spread his love and your love to others.