I am so glad you asked. It was very brave of you as I'm certain in your culture, as in most cultures women are seldom taught it is OK to take charge of their own sexuality. As a sex therapist i believe we are feeling, thinking, spiritual, physical, and sexual beings and all five areas are equally important. You would not want to live without a satisfying intellectual or thinking life; you would feel empty if you were denied a spiritual or religious practice; imagine life if you were unable to feel or have emotions; what if you were unable to move, stretch, or exercise how limiting life would be - yet women particular tell me all the time - "I can live with out it." Meaning they can live without sex! Sure they can but why would they want to. Women have not been given permission to be sexual beings - to feel sexual - to love sex - to revel in it - to use their man to make their sex better. So many women are disgusted by their genitalia and have never even looked at it and a large percentage of women do not masturbate. Why am I telling you all this . . . because my guess is that you fit this category - you would like to enjoy sex, even revel in it - experience it at its highest level - I teach Tantric Sex Classes to my couples, which is combining sexuality with spirituality - it is where partners exchange energies and increase their sensuality and intimacy with each other. So many men, on the other hand, have no idea how to please a woman, and couples find it impossible to talk about sex - even asking your partner to go faster, slower, harder or softer is taboo for some couples. How very sad. I suspect there is nothing at all wrong with you that a little self discovery of your own sexuality and gentle teaching of your husband won't cure. When a couple is trying to get pregnant it puts a terrible stress on the relationship and intimacy becomes work. All the closeness is taken out of it and very often the husband begins to feel like a sperm bank, depending on who wants the child more. For women, sex is a mental activity and our primary sexual organ is our brain - that is why it is so much more important for a woman to be relaxed in order to have an enjoyable sexual experience - That is why I teach tantric sex practices as it focuses on slow and easy and on the giving as well as the receiving. So, after all this . . . what are my suggestions. First, if you do not feel like a sexual being as a single unattached female in your own right, you are going to have difficulty feeling that way at the hands of your husband. So for this one indulge yourself - wear sexy under garments - even when you are gardening - where luxurious or sexy [this is personal taste] lingerie for bed time or for evening lounging - take long relaxing and luxurious baths with candles and pretty smelling bath salts and use lovely creams when you get out - ask your husband if he would mind putting the cream on your body. Our skin is one big erogenous zone and many women need A LOT of touching to become fully turned on and sensual massage is a great way to get there - you can offer to give him one tomorrow night - I don't recommend trading off the same night - in Tantra you totally focus on the sensation of receiving and your husband focuses on the sensation of his hands on your body, the feel of the lotion, the aroma - it is called Sensate Focus - it can carry over into all areas of your life - sensual massage is not to achieve orgasm but it can - again in Tantra men are taught to hold off on the orgasm for as long as possible and focus on the sensations and the exchange of energies with their partner. If your religious practices permit masturbation than it is your best friend - you an learn what pleases you - light touch, harder, where, how fast - slower, etc. Also if you and your husband are not using a high caliber lubricant I strongly urge you to purchase one - make sure it is water soluable - good ones can be purchased in the drugstore but be certain it does not contain things that will bother sensitive skin. If you contact me directly I can recommend some specific brands and websites where you can purchase some excellent lubes - not all lubricants are created equal! I have so much more I want to tell you, but I believe I have already gone way beyond what this forum was meant to cover - I'd love to work with you and would be happy to provide a phone consultation if that is something you would like. I'm certain it would prove beneficial for you. The bottom line is EVERY WOMAN deserves to be a happy sexual being . . . don't cheat yourself. We create what we think so start out by THINKING of yourself as a sexual being and relax as much as possible during the times you are intimate with your husband. Stop thinking about having a baby during the intimate moments - just be in the moments and FOCUS - sensate focus - on his touch and what everything feels like - ry asking him to to harder or softer - most men really do want to satisfy their partners. Again I'd LOVE to speak with you in more detail - I have so much to share with you!